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Constant Thoughts

  1. #1

    Constant Thoughts

    I was able to take my cat to a low cost vet for the first time in his life and thankfully it was free. We are pretty much dirt poor and have trouble paying our rent as it is. I curse myself for not being able to do more for him and seeing how much he suffers is causing me severe anxiety to the point of nausea.



    I really do love him and I don't want to lose him because I'm a failure at life. He's about 15 years old. We adopted him from the streets as an abandoned kitten and an abused one at that, since he went from home to home for food.

    We decided to keep him when he appeared badly wounded at our door one day after going missing for days and took him to a shelter for emergency help.We've been through a lot and just thinking about losing him gives me flasbacks of when he was still a wild kitten and I slowly gained his trust.

    He was diagnosed with Stomatitus (he's apperantly allergic to his own teeth) and has to have four teeth removed and I think he also suffers from low immune system. I've never had to take care of a cat who had teeth removed and am afraid of what will happen. How do I handle it?

    Seeing how panicked he came back from the vet made me extremely sad, too. It took him a while to calm himself to the point where he recognized me again. If every visit to the vet will leave him like that... I panic myself thinking about it.

    Will this be a reoccurring problem. Will he get cured. Will vet continue to be charitable or patient? All these questions have my head spinning and make it hard for me to sleep or eat. For anyone who cares for their pet that much it feels much like if a son or parent is slipping from your grasp... �� I feel so useless. So pathetic...

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    (I'm reluctant on ever adopting a wild pet again. I hate to see them suffer and not be able to afford proper care for them, yet I've seen how cold shelters can treat their pets. The depressed look on their caged pets' eyes makes me depressingly ill. I feel like a bad person. �� Even if someone were to say I'm not, I'd still feel like it. I'm such a pathetic bum.) So many thoughts flooding my head...

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pikasaur View Post
    I was able to take my cat to a low cost vet for the first time in his life and thankfully it was free. We are pretty much dirt poor and have trouble paying our rent as it is. I curse myself for not being able to do more for him and seeing how much he suffers is causing me severe anxiety to the point of nausea. I really do love him and I don't want to lose him because I'm a failure at life. He's about 15 years old. We adopted him from the streets as an abandoned kitten and an abused one at that, since he went from home to home for food. We decided to keep him when he appeared badly wounded at our door one day after going missing for days and took him to a shelter for emergency help.We've been through a lot and just thinking about losing him gives me flashbacks of when he was still a wild kitten and I slowly gained his trust. He was diagnosed with stomatitis (he's apparently allergic to his own teeth) and has to have four teeth removed and I think he also suffers from low immune system. I've never had to take care of a cat who had teeth removed and am afraid of what will happen. How do I handle it? Seeing how panicked he came back from the vet made me extremely sad, too. It took him a while to calm himself to the point where he recognized me again. If every visit to the vet will leave him like that... I panic myself thinking about it. Will this be a reoccurring problem. Will he get cured. Will vet continue to be charitable or patient? All these questions have my head spinning and make it hard for me to sleep or eat. For anyone who cares for their pet that much it feels much like if a son or parent is slipping from your grasp...  I feel so useless. So pathetic...

    (I'm reluctant on ever adopting a wild pet again. I hate to see them suffer and not be able to afford proper care for them, yet I've seen how cold shelters can treat their pets. The depressed look on their caged pets' eyes makes me depressingly ill. I feel like a bad person.  Even if someone were to say I'm not, I'd still feel like it. I'm such a pathetic bum.) So many thoughts flooding my head...
    I am so sorry your cat's struggles are making you feel bad about yourself. It looks to me like you regret doing the best thing you could for an abused kitten. I don't think anybody who has rescued a cat in poor health off the street would say you should have done something different because the kitten needed your help. We are here to help you and your kitty (what's his name?) with the dental situation.

    You adopted a cat that already had stomatitis and was suffering both physically and mentally from being mistreated by someone else, correct? That kitten learned to trust you despite being hurt by others because of what you did for him. Then you took him to the vet to help him get better. Now he has food, water, shelter, love, and a vet. You are not worthless, useless, or a failure in life. A kitten has proven that to you every day by giving you his love in return. Please think about this and appreciate the time you have with him as long as he is with you. The people who are failures in life are those who abuse and abandon innocent cats. I personally can help you more with the panic, anxiety, and depression if your account is set to allow private messages because there is clearly a bigger issue here.

    My cat, who lived to age 19, did not have stomatitis, but would have had more than four teeth removed if she was not too old for the anesthesia. Because of her age, dental extractions would have been a high-risk procedure. Only your vet can be the judge on this one, but I would never consider doing it for a 15-year old cat. That is because anesthesia itself can end an old cat's life.
    Rescued is my favorite breed. Don't shop, adopt!

  3. #3
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    I agree with catmom, you did the right thing, you gave him a loving home and he's had a long life. No everyone can be rich in material things, you are rich in love for your cat and that counts for something. But like catmom I would not let the vet put my cat under for teeth removal. That would be very iffy at best. Until you can decide what to do feed him soft food, canned or packets, no hard cat food, something easy to eat even baby food if you have to.
    he is your friend and protector, he will love you unconditionally, you owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion

  4. #4
    No. I don't regret adopting him. Is that how I came across? 😔 If I hadn't, he'd definitely be dead by now. Someone (one of the homes he visited for food?) had wounded/abused him badly and he somehow escaped and went to us (he was missing for days). When I saw him, I couldn't help crying. There was an animal shelter nearby at the time who were at first reluctant to help (no money, no help) but thankfully there was a nice vet lady in there (good timing) who saw and had compassion and told me she'd help.

    What I regret is not being able to afford what he may need (then and now) for a better living and having to see him suffer because I'm poor.

    No, he didn't have Stomatitus when I adopted him as a kitten (about 15 years ago). I was just remembering how I met him. Flash backs of when he was a kitten are part of a never ending guilt I feel. 😔

    He's 15 now and about five days ago I noticed he was having trouble eating. (I've never took him to a vet in those 15 years because financiallly we've gone from bad to worse) I kept searching the Internet for help and thankfully I found ONE out of so many vets who would attend him free. (But for how long?) 😔She told me he had stomatitus and needed four teeth extracted. Now I'm nervous about what anesthesia may do to him. What medicine may do to him and how I can't do much without money. 😔

    Seeing how he reacted coming back from the vet scared me because he was so nervous. I had never seen him that way before. He was breathing heavily with his mouth open trying desperately to hide anywhere, yet nowhere seemed safe. I thought for a moment something bad was going to happen to him. It took him a while to calm himself down to the point where he could recognize me again. And to think he needs to go more times... 😔 It's like torturing him, but it may be the only thing that can help him.

    I'm not sure what taking care of a cat with extracted teeth will be like either. He's the only cat I've ever adopted.

    Overall I just want him to be his old self again, but who knows...that may be wishing for too much. 😳

    His name is Cookie, btw.

    [Most ppl I tell of this don't seem to understand and think it's weird that I'm worrying myself literally sick for a cat. (Even ppl at the shelter I went to for vet care gave me odd looks because I couldn't stop crying when seeing my cat suffer and looking at all the sad eyes of the animals there). So I searched for a place that might.
    I compare this feeling to seeing a son or parent slowly slipping your grasp and not being able to do more, then cursing yourself for being a bum. For always being a failure at life.]

  5. #5
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    Thank you for clarifying. FYI I am broke too. What you should remember about your financial situation is it was not your fault. Many people can't afford proper veterinary care for their pets including myself (Mom pays all the vet bills here). You can only regret the mistakes you made that were preventable and completely within your control, and your bank account is not one of them.

    Taking care of a cat after some teeth are extracted is no different except maybe switching to wet food if he had only been eating kibbles his entire life. Wet food is what all cats should eat anyway.

    You are definitely not torturing Cookie by taking him to the vet. My cat Daisy also hid under beds after vet appointments. She came out on her own later and everything was fine. Cookie still loves you.
    Rescued is my favorite breed. Don't shop, adopt!

  6. #6
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    If you've had him for 15 years and he's always been healthy you must be doing something right. They don't know or care how much money you have, where you live, as long as they have a full belly and a warm place to sleep and love that's all they need.
    he is your friend and protector, he will love you unconditionally, you owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion

  7. #7
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    I often say cats don't know how lucky they are that all they need to worry about are bowls, beds, and litterboxes.
    Rescued is my favorite breed. Don't shop, adopt!

  8. #8
    Thank you. 😥 It gives me some comfort knowing I'm not the only one who can't afford a vet. (Still scared of what may happen if a bigger emergency were ever to occur though. Eg: bad side effects of a medicine).

    These are all new experiences for me, so they're hard to deal with at times. The reaction he had upon coming back from the vet was probably the scariest.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pikasaur View Post
    Thank you.  It gives me some comfort knowing I'm not the only one who can't afford a vet. (Still scared of what may happen if a bigger emergency were ever to occur though. Ex: bad side effects of a medicine).

    These are all new experiences for me, so they're hard to deal with at times. The reaction he had upon coming back from the vet was probably the scariest.
    I completely understand the anxiety over new situations. It happens to me all the time.

    Don't worry about the possibility of bigger emergencies. If Cookie has a bad reaction to a medication, he will likely just be taken off it and switched to something else. The risk of side effects is low for any drug and Cookie may not need one.
    Rescued is my favorite breed. Don't shop, adopt!

  10. #10
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    worrying never changed the outcome of anything, just take things as they come and deal with it then
    he is your friend and protector, he will love you unconditionally, you owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion

  11. #11
    Your cat is very lucky to have someone with the compassion you have.

    It is very risky to give anesthesia to a 15yo cat. You could end up with a dead cat. Hopefully, you will find a solution that will be safe for him.

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