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Need to vent a little bit of frustration!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    Need to vent a little bit of frustration!


    Just needed a little rant - finding my latest foster very frustrating, although I know it's not her fault in the slightest. She's a lovely girl that's been with me for months now waiting for her forever home, but sometimes it just feels like one step forward twenty steps back! She was such a nervous wreck when she arrived and she has improved loads, but when she cries out, empties her bladder on the sofa and runs off belly to the floor just from being stroked, it's hard to take.

    I so wish they could talk, that would make life so much easier! I just wish I could know what she's been through so I know how to help her and then I could explain to her that she's safe now and what a wonderful life she's going to have when she finds her new home!

    Feel like I must doing something wrong but I don't have a clue what!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    Awww, poor baby. If all medical reasons are ruled out, like pain from being touched in certain areas, then patience is the only thing that can help her. Lucky for her, she has a very loving person watching out for her, you are wonderful with your rescues.

    All I can think of is gently making her less sensitive to the human touch. This would mean calmly attempting to pet her as much as possible. I think that is the only way she will know that nothing bad is happening to her.

    Will she come over to you on her own? Maybe distracting her with a treat, if she's food driven, will help you stroke her without immediate fear/flight response. I admire you for taking on these little ones, you really give them a second chance at a good life. Would like to see her.

  3. #3
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    Thanks Alpha1 - great advice, all of which I will give a go! She will come and sit next to me on the sofa on her own and does like her treats, although she'll rarely take them from the hand. She is coming on well and learning to enjoy being petted but you've got to be very slow and careful about it so as not to spook her.

    The peeing isn't a medical issue as far as we know, it rarely happens at all now - only if something really spooks her.

    Seeing as you asked so nicely here she is:

  4. #4
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    Jul 2012
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    Ps. my sofa's not filthy (promise) she'd just finished a biscuit!

  5. #5
    Hi Goldfinch, just wanted to say thanks for fostering =) I run a little non-profit dedicated to helping rescues find foster parents. Couldn't do it without amazing people like you. Hang in there, you're doing a great thing!

  6. #6
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    Jul 2012
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    Thank-you very much furryfoster - I love what I do and couldn't stop if I wanted to. The rewards and love these little souls bring into my life far outways the frustrations!

  7. #7
    I agree! I fell in love with fostering (and all of my foster dogs of course!) and never looked back .. working on raising awareness about it now so that everyone knows it's an option! Would love any suggestions you have as a fellow foster =)

  8. #8
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    It's fantastic to meet another fosterer! I'm sure we'll both be able to help each other out as we've probably been in the same boat at least once before x

  9. #9
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    She looks like a little angel, hope she can get over her fears and find a loving forever home.

  10. #10
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    She looks like a sweet girl. Is she overly-submissive? If the bladder thing isn't a condition, maybe raising her spirits up would help. I know teaching a dog to be dominant is often perceived as a wrong move but it can work wonders on overly submissive dogs.

    The problem will only arise if the owner isn't able to determine the right time to stop teaching the dog dominance.

    If the peeing rarely happens now, then you must give yourself a good pat on the back as you've desensitized her. I wish she'd find her forever home soon.

  11. #11
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    Jul 2012
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    Hi Haopee, thanks for the rely. I don't think she is submissive, she's just terrified. She's been so badly abused that she expects to be beaten every time some moves. As far as I can see, the best thing for her is time, love and patience. Not always easy though, I'm about to post a new topic for advice so you'll see today I'm struggling!

  12. #12
    Hi,
    I agree if she has not been loved and not been taken care of then she probably expects the same. Little
    one i take care of named Daphne always feel sometime if i say "NO" come here she has dodne something
    wrong which mostly she has... lol...lol but she bows her head ( submissive ) a i think she feels we are
    going to hit her sometime, and of course we are not. :-) Hang in there.
    agravarus

  13. #13
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    Thanks agravarus

  14. #14
    Your Welcome

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    Goldfinch, have you tried ignoring her to build her confidence? Like, not petting or talking to her, or doing anything that would cause a fear reaction? You'd have to do it for at least a week to see if there's improvement in trusting you. Is she fearful of your other pets, or just people?

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