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I Don't Know What I'm Doing Wrong (I think my dog hates me)

  1. #1

    Unhappy I Don't Know What I'm Doing Wrong (I think my dog hates me)

    Okay, maybe not hate but at the very least does not love me.

    I have an 8 month old akita/malamute/shepherd mix. Named Grayson. I've had him since he was 8 weeks old. He has always been a little aloof and independant but recently his reactions towards me in particular is heartbreaking.

    This past month I've noticed he no longer wags his tail or gives me kisses in the morning. He doesn't care when I come home unless he's in his cage. He will whine if he hears me home and when he quiets down I'll let him out- only for him to push past me to go greet the other people in the house.

    Grayson is currently going through what I assume is a rebellious phase, in which he doesn't like to listen when I tell him to leave it, go lie down, get out of the kitchen, or even sit sometimes. His loose leash walking was almost nonexistant until about a week ago when I finally tried to use an ecollar. I try to use this around the house as well but its a work in progress for him. He doesn't seem to understand why he's getting zapped when he breaks a rule and continues to do it anyways.

    I love him with all my heart and it kills me to see my dog love everyone even strangers more than me. I am the one who does his training which includes telling him no. I feel like he's resentful towards me because of that and only sees me as the bad guy even though Im the one who feeds him, walks him, plays with him. It doesnt matter to him apparently.

    There are several people and 2 other dogs in the house (small terrier mixes who are loving and well behaved). My little sister does try to help with training and most everyone will tell him 'no' and 'leave it' if he does something bad or needs to back off of something.

    -He is fed twice a day by me and sometimes my sister if I'm not home. He is not food agressive.
    -He enjoys food treats but as soon as they are gone his attention goes too. Thats why I try to reward with toys and affection.
    -He is on a no free lunch policy to precent dominace issues (he's mot aggressive at all though) so he sits at the door, waits to eat his food until i say, ect.
    -He is not fixed yet
    -He knows many basic commands and even some tricks but is stubborn about when he wants to listen to me
    -He absolutely adores everyone but me
    -He is having to go through the proofing stage of training currently

    I don't know what to do... I got a dog to love and recieve love in return but I just feel like a heartless villain with how he ignores and avoids me. Giving him away is never an option, but I just need a little guidance in how to rebuild a bond when I have little idea how it changed so quickly.

    I feel lost.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    New Hampshire
    The akita in him makes him indifferent and stand offish. The malamute in him makes him a "pack animal" who'd rather be with other dogs than people. But he can be worked with.

    First thing is don't use the shock collar, you want him to want to be with you and he knows you are controlling the shock collar, counter productive. You need to be the only one training him so as not to confuse him. When you walk him and he pulls just stop and turn around, when he comes to the end of the leash it will jerk him back and he'll stop. To teach him to come get a long lead, like twenty feet long, let him to to the end of the lead and stop and say his name then come. If he doesn't come gently reel him back in to you and give him a treat. Soon he will realize there is a treat every time he comes to you. Shorten the lead and continue until he comes to you everytime you call him. At this point I'm not to suggest off leash training, the malamute in him could make him a runner and he'll take off on you.

    No one else should feed him, you need to build a relationship with him and if you are the only one feeding and walking and caring for him he'll come to depend on you and will start showing affection to you. Right now he's at the rebellious stage, like a teenager, which he what he is. He'll come around, just be patient, keep the training sessions short like ten minutes two or three times a day. He has a short attention span and will get bored if you do it to long.

    He doesn't hate you, he's testing you. For now when he does something you don't want him to do try redirecting him to something else. When he obeys, even a little thing give him a treat and praise. Only use a treat when he does something right, he will learn rewards will be given to him when he's good. He's not stupid, just young.

    If he doesn't want to come to you for some attention just ignore him, go about whatever you are doing and act like he isn't even there, it may take a few days but he'll figure it out, treats come when he pleases you and ignoring him gets him nothing.

    But every one in the house has to be on the same page. Until he starts to respond to you the way you want everyone else has to ignore him also
    he is your friend and protector, he will love you unconditionally, you owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by linda2147 View Post
    First thing is don't use the shock collar, you want him to want to be with you and he knows you are controlling the shock collar, counter productive.
    Thank you for your wonderful reply. I needed the ecollar for training heel since food, toys and other teaining tools (head harness, prong collar ect) did nothing to stop his pulling. He is too interested in the world around him because yes he is a puppy, but he needs to know boundaries especially on a walk thata why I use it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    It sounds like he is not enjoying the training and does not appreciate the training.

    Especially with an ELECTRIC collar, who would?

    If you make yourself a net no fun to be with, that is not the dog's fault.

    If you insist on doing your things your way, one of those robot dogs from amazon might be a better alternative.

    Dude, lighten up, chill out, and release your dog from your fist grip.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kdebusk15 View Post
    I love him with all my heart

  5. #5
    Some dog breeds like mentioned above are just naturally independant while others stick to you like velcro. Akitas are actually known for this, and I believe it's actually a breed trait. But also it could just be the individual personality of your pooch, like people they're all different. Some are more aloof than others.

  6. #6
    An e collar should never be used unless your dog has been trained on one with a professional who knows what he is doing. Then the professional trains you how to use the collar. It sounds like you use the collar for punishment instead of reinforcement. This is not the way the collar is meant to be used. There are also books on the proper use of an e collar. I, also, think you may have chosen the wrong breed. A Labrador retriever would live in your pocket if you'd let it.

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