am i making a huge mistake?

ourbailey

New member
Joined
Jul 10, 2014
Apologies if im posting in the wrong place. Im new here *waves hi* I really need some honest advice and opinions. Im a full time mum with 2 young children, 10 months old and my toddler will be 3 in september.

Growing up i always remember having a dog, my childhood dog was a golden lab named Honey, i remember the bond i had with her, she was my bestfriend plain and simple. On sunday i am due to pick up a male lab puppy, he will be 8 weeks old.

For the last 6 weeks i have been really looking forward to collecting our new family member, visions of wonderful days out we would all have together, entering him in the local charity dog show, cuddles on the sofa when my children are in bed, family holidays and of course the bond between my children and the dog that will always grow stronger and never be broken.... i am an animal lover, my last dog was before my children were born, through devastating circumstances and ill health he was put to sleep, i had no choice and was utterly heartbroken.

And now at a time where i should be mega mega super excited to be collecting our new puppy on sunday i have woken with feelings of dread :( i feel awful, firstly i have promised this lady that i will look after the puppy and give him a forever loving home, secondly i have paid a deposit and thirdly i dont want to let my children down. I am no novice owner, i know and realise how much hard work having puppy/dog is, before meeting and paying the deposit on our puppy, i had good discussions and really and carefully thought about our life if we were to get a puppy.

I just cant understand why i have woken this morning with this feeling of doubt. Im unsure whether its because im scared due to how things ended with my beloved last dog, what if i cant get that bond again, my last dog was truely once in a life time. Im now thinking of how different our life is without the malting, the poop even simple things like going on holiday and having to plan day trips around having a dog such as i cant just take my kids to a theme park and leave the dog alone all day, these things have to be considered!

Im unsure whether im trying to talk myself out of it because of the past or if i genuinely feel our family dynamics are just not ready for a dog. I realise that ultimately you guys dont know me, my situation or how im feeling. From what you have just read and what ive explained do you think its a case of 'prewedding jitters' or do you think i should seriously consider not taking this little guy into our home? if im having doubts now then how am i going to feel when we collect him? Any opinions and advice would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks in advance x
 

Knightofalbion

New member
Joined
Jun 22, 2012
Location
Glastonbury, England
You'll be fine, don't worry. The dog will soon become 'one of the family' and be a friend, playmate and protector to you and the children.

I firmly believe growing up with animals broadens one's outlook on the world and makes for better people.
 

linda2147

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 13, 2014
Location
New Hampshire
I agree with knight to a point. I think everyone should have animals in their lives. But on the other hand your children a small, and no offense intended but little ones and pups are not always a good match. Remember the pup is a pup and will be hyper, he may knock a child over, the child may take his toy and when he tries to get it back the child could get scratched or knocked over. These things happen but its usually the dog that gets in trouble even if its the kid's fault.

I am not a breeder but if I were I would never sell an animal to anyone with young children. I've seen to many times the pet winds up at the pound because of something it has done when the fault is with the child.

You would probably be a wonderful owner but I'd wait till the kids are older and know how to treat and play with a puppy
 

Alpha1

Pack Leader and Lover
Joined
Mar 28, 2012
Location
USA
Hello and welcome! :) This is tough, and I agree a bit with Knight and Linda. With two children so young, you will have a lot to deal with, you must be ready to be super busy every single day, training the puppy with basic dog training, and teaching your children to be gentle with the puppy also. Are you going to be able to take the dog on long walks daily, because he will not behave well if he doesn't get sufficient exercise and mental stimulation. Do you have a fenced back yard?

Going away on vacation, or out for a long day is an issue with all dog owners. Do you have friends or relatives near you who may keep the dog if you're away? If not he'll have to go to a kennel, something I've never done with any of my pets.

I imagine if the puppy is very mellow, that it would work out better, but if he's excitable there may be more problems making it work. As Linda said, it's very common, and very sad, when someone brings a pup into their homes only to be overwhelmed. The pup usually ends up untrained, unhappy, confused and behind bars in a shelter somewhere, for something that was not his fault.

Honestly, if it were me, I think for my sake and the dogs sake, I'd wait until the children are older. Really, you're not letting your children down, and you can downplay the whole situation to them if you really want to.

You're having second thoughts now, because you're no longer thinking with your heart. You're being realistic and thinking with your head instead, about the situation you may be in. Go with your gut feeling, if it's not the time, then it's not wise to force it. Consider the future and happiness of the animal, unless you can fulfill all his needs, then now may not be the right time. Good luck, and let us know what you decide. :love_heart:
 

haopee

BACON of Light
Joined
Nov 6, 2012
Location
Philippines
I'm not going to ask you about dog care. You have had dogs for such a long time that I'm confident that you know what you are getting yourself into.

I can't say it's pre-wedding jitters. In fact, I think it's a good thing you are doing your own self-reflection. And let's be honest, having young kids and a dog will be a lot of work. Then again, you are a full time mom. The question here is whether at the end of the day, you still have enough energy to raise a pup (or another child per se).

True, we don't know you as much, and I can't judge you (even though I think you'll raise the pup real well). Either way, just remember this, whatever you decide, no regrets. You've given it enought thought already.

Good luck. :love_heart:
 

Knightofalbion

New member
Joined
Jun 22, 2012
Location
Glastonbury, England
The key thing is if you've got the time to look after the dog. It will basically be 3 children (!) on your hands.

Dogs are no different to children. They need love and attention, and they need boundaries and laying down the law, so they know what's what.

Personally, I don't see it as an issue if you can fit everything in.

But remember the old adage 'a dog is for life' ..
 

Alpha1

Pack Leader and Lover
Joined
Mar 28, 2012
Location
USA
What did you decide? Did you pick up the pup on Sunday, or decide against it? Please let us know, and if the puppy is home with you, let us know how things are going. :)
 


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