Can I reasonably get a puppy?

katlkoon

New member
Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Ok, so here's the basics of it. My fiancee and I really, really want to get a puppy. We, and our roommate tbh, could really benefit from having a dog in the house. The daily exercise and sun, the affection, and all the responsibility would do all of us a lot of good. Plus, the right puppy could really make a good playmate for one of our cats, since he is a much more energetic and sometimes aggressive player than his two kitty sisters. So like, if all that were the only factors in considering a puppy, we would probably already have one.

Here are the problems though. Right now we are obviously saving for a wedding. We are paying for about half of it, with my parents paying the other half. So while I think we can definitely afford this, I'm not sure if adding the expenses of a puppy to this would be irresponsible. We are also saving for some surgeries that my fiancee is going to need this year. And while insurance will be paying a VAST majority of this, we still will have to chip in a few thousand dollars to hit her deductible. This too should be doable, especially with a personal loan from a wealthy friend, but it again makes getting a puppy feel irresponsible. Factor in that her surgeries will require quite a bit of recovery time and some travel, and I'm not sure if it's possible. We have friends here and obviously our roomie to help, so like, we wouldn't be on our own, and I would be able to handle most of it while we're at home, but it's not a non-factor.

So basically, I'm really torn on what to do. We have wanted a puppy for years, and we're finally in a housing situation where we can have one, but there is so much going on that I'm super conflicted. I feel like logically I can't justify it, but emotionally it kind of feels like an inevitability. We desperately want to add a dog to the family, and my fiancee argues that there likely won't be a time when there are no conflicts to getting one, so it might as well be now. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Or have any thoughts/advice?

TL;DR We really want a puppy for our physical and mental health and because we love dogs, but our circumstances make it feel irresponsible. Advice?
 

linda2147

Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2014
Location
New Hampshire
Do you realize how much work a puppy is? A puppy is like having a little child. It needs attention, shots, the right food and training, they do not self train and that mans spending a lot of time training. Then there is breed and your cats to consider, if the cats are not used to dogs they won't like a puppy and if the puppy is a breed with a high prey drive it will kill the cats given a chance.

And what about your work schedule? Where will the dog be when you are at work, you can't expect to leave it crated all day while you are gone. And you can't rely on a roommate, they may be ag greeable now but when the times comes it may not want the responsibility of dealing with a puppy. And who will take care of it when your boyfriend has surgery? You need to think of all the pros and cons of getting a puppy not. Not a good idea at this time. If you need a "dog fix" go to a local shelter and volunteer, get some first hand knowledge on raising a puppy. People think its all fun and games but they soon get tired of all the bills and work that comes with raising a well balanced dog then realize they got in over their head and the pup winds up given awau pr tjrpwm om a sje;ter/
 
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katlkoon

New member
Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Original Poster
Do you realize how much work a puppy is? A puppy is like having a little child. It needs attention, shots, the right food and training, they do not self train and that mans spending a lot of time training. Then there is breed and your cats to consider, if the cats are not used to dogs they won't like a puppy and if the puppy is a breed with a high prey drive it will kill the cats given a chance. And what about your work schedule? Where will the dog be when you are at work, you can't expect to leave it crated all day while you are gone. And you can't rely on a roommate, they may be ag greeable now but when the times comes it may not want the responsibility of dealing with a puppy. And who will take care of it when your boyfriend has surgery? You need to think of all the pros and cons of getting a puppy not. Not a good idea at this time. If you need a "dog fix" go to a local shelter and volunteer, get some first hand knowledge on raising a puppy. People think its all fun and games but they soon get tired of all the bills and work that comes with raising a well balanced dog then realize they got in over their head and the pup winds up given awau pr tjrpwm om a sje;ter/

Oh yeah, we are fully aware of the commitment of getting a new dog, don't worry about that part. The training and responsibility of it are something we're both very comfortable with, having both grown up with dogs and also raising cats. That part I'm not worried about at all, though I know it will definitely be a big commitment. And my fiancee works from home, so as long as she isn't recovering from anything, she will be able to attend to the puppy during the day time.

Her big surgery isn't until the very end of the year, so if we got a couple month old puppy now, it would be about a year old by then and not need as constant supervision. Plus, I know I called him our roomie in the post, and he is, but he is honestly more of a brother, so while we would pay for the puppy and all of its supplies and probably pay our roomie for any time he would be "puppy sitting" if we needed to travel for a day or two for my fiancee's health situation, it would be functionally his dog as well. So like, I'm not worried about asking him for help either. I'm mostly just worried about it looking like we aren't taking our savings seriously, you know? And I do pretty regularly get a dog fix as I pet sit for a company a couple times a month usually, so it's not like I am dog deficient, we just want one of our own. We've done all the research into what kind we want, and what breeds get on well with cats, and how to introduce them so that it is a good relationship, it's mostly just an issue of timing and if the risk is worth it.
 
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katlkoon

New member
Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Original Poster
Ok, so here's the basics of it. My fiancee and I really, really want to get a puppy. We, and our roommate tbh, could really benefit from having a dog in the house. The daily exercise and sun, the affection, and all the responsibility would do all of us a lot of good. Plus, the right puppy could really make a good playmate for one of our cats, since he is a much more energetic and sometimes aggressive player than his two kitty sisters. So like, if all that were the only factors in considering a puppy, we would probably already have one.

Here are the problems though. Right now we are obviously saving for a wedding. We are paying for about half of it, with my parents paying the other half. So while I think we can definitely afford this, I'm not sure if adding the expenses of a puppy to this would be irresponsible. We are also saving for some surgeries that my fiancee is going to need this year. And while insurance will be paying a VAST majority of this, we still will have to chip in a few thousand dollars to hit her deductible. This too should be doable, especially with a personal loan from a wealthy friend, but it again makes getting a puppy feel irresponsible. Factor in that her surgeries will require quite a bit of recovery time and some travel, and I'm not sure if it's possible. We have friends here and obviously our roomie to help, so like, we wouldn't be on our own, and I would be able to handle most of it while we're at home, but it's not a non-factor.

So basically, I'm really torn on what to do. We have wanted a puppy for years, and we're finally in a housing situation where we can have one, but there is so much going on that I'm super conflicted. I feel like logically I can't justify it, but emotionally it kind of feels like an inevitability. We desperately want to add a dog to the family, and my fiancee argues that there likely won't be a time when there are no conflicts to getting one, so it might as well be now. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Or have any thoughts/advice?

TL;DR We really want a puppy for our physical and mental health and because we love dogs, but our circumstances make it feel irresponsible. Advice?
EDIT: I realize looking back on this today that I wrote this rather quickly and neglected to mention how seriously we are taking this. My fiancee and I, and by extension our roommate, know that this is a very serious, time intensive commitment. We know that training and raising a dog is not something to be taken lightly, and I promise we are not going into this impulsively.

If we were, we would already have a dog and this post would not exist. My fiancee works from home, and I work part time since I am going to school (through a distance program, so I am also doing this work from home), so it is extremely rare that one of us is not home. I worry a little about the travel one or both of us may need to do, but at most that would be a long weekend, likely more like 1-2 days. For this, we would definitely be able to ask for our roomie to puppy sit and compensate him for that.

He already loves our cats and is a huge dog person, so this is not something I am worried about. We also have done extensive, obsessive research on what breeds would work best with our current pets, our space, and our lives in general, and then more research on the specific breeds we found would fit our parameters and their needs. So like, advice on how to take this more seriously or concerns that we haven't thought this through, while not unwarrented since I know a lot of people do not take pet ownership as seriously as they should, do not necessarily apply to the situation.

My main concern here that I was reaching out for advice on was specifically about if we would be taking on too many financial obligations, or perhaps more accurately, that even if we could handle the finances of it (which I believe we can), if it would seem like we are being frivolous with our money with so much on our plate already. My parents in particular likely already think we are being kind of irresponsible by taking care of my financee's medical needs this year since the wedding is next year, so inviting more doubt/resentment/judgement from them and other people is really what my fear is here.

Well, that and my own concerns about being irresponsible. If we were already married and had her surgeries taken care of, I would have no concerns at all about getting a dog, even with the cats and all the new responsibilities. And with the wedding and medical things being so long term and by and large in the background of our lives, it feels like waiting for nothing to wait now. But it also feels like we maybe should, even though we desperately do not want to.

I dunno. It's very complicated and I am more conflicted than I can really be put into writing. But please don't doubt how seriously we are taking this or worry about our dog rearing capabilities.
 

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linda2147

Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2014
Location
New Hampshire
I don't think you are irresponsible, if you've thought through all the pros and cons of dog ownership and you feel ready then do it. You can't live you life in "what if this happens" things happen and with or without a dog we get through it. dogs are not cheap, they have vet bills and regular expenses but if you can afford it there is no reason not to get one. Another thing to be aware of is space. You can't live in a tiny apartment then wonder why your german shepherd has no room. Think of the size of your space and how big the dog will get. And what kind of temeprment are you looking for? All stuff to consider. Small dogs are yapy and can be annoying to neighbors if they bark all the time. Large dogs require more exercise and need time to run. Despite their bad rap pit bulls make excellent family dogs if raised right, Shepherds are excellent family dogs also but they can be aggressive with strangers. I've had shepherds for many many years and I can tell you no matter how friendly you think your dog is you must be aware that all dogs can bite and you always have to assume they will. You will get to know your dog's temperment but be advised if the dog is predisposed to aggression you will never take it out of him, all you can do is keep it under control. With everything taken into consideration if you feel up to the challenge and responsibility then get your dog. Just one more piece of advise, no matter what your vet tells you do NOT neuter or spay before the dog is fully mature. Those hormones are there for a reason let them do their job.
 

CatMom1994

Loving cats forever
Joined
Jul 23, 2017
Location
Florida
Welcome to the forum. Congratulations on your engagement. Good luck to you and your fiancee on everything. Thank you for posting this.

I hope you want a small dog. They are less expensive to take care of. Toy breed dogs are known to like cats (and often the same size full-grown). I would only call buying a puppy irresponsible, not adopting one. Buying a puppy would cost 10x more than adopting one. The financial situation is terrible for paying $1,000 just to get a purebred puppy. Although most shelter dogs are mutts, you can train a young puppy with toy breed DNA to love the cats. Don't worry if the puppy is already spayed or neutered just because Linda thinks vets should wait longer; you save money and a life at the same time by not going to a dog breeder.
 


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