Cody's Death


New member
Oct 17, 2020
Hi everyone. I lost my first dog, my beautiful baby boy, my best friend on Monday. I have been absolutely devastated. I haven't been able to eat or sleep all week. He was only six years old and he died incredibly tragically. A growth was found on his liver three weeks ago after I saw him behaving strangely one night, and now he is dead. I had him every day for six years and had to move to Boston to go to an inpatient mental health treatment facility.

My family said they would look after him and take him to get surgery but the cancer got to him before surgery was even possible. The growth ruptured, his stomach filled up with blood and he was in excruciating pain. Surgery was not possible. My mom told me that the surgeon wanted to do a CT scan and she said that he wouldn't even survive the anesthesia.

He died so quickly. I am devastated and have so much guilt and grief for choosing to go into treatment and not being able to hold him, smell him, kiss him one last time, especially in his dying moments. I had to watch his death over FaceTime. It was the worst experience and worst day of my life. I have developed PTSD from it and I have been replaying the moments of him dying over and over again in my head.

I am in absolute agony. I cry every minute of every day. I would really appreciate any support. I have never felt this kind of pain in my life and I am desperately trying to cling on and to keep going. I loved him with all of my heart. I would really appreciate any support at this time. Thank you all.

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Active member
Mar 13, 2014
New Hampshire
I'm very sorry for your loss. Right now its new and the pain is horrible but in time it will get better. In time you'll be able to look back and relive the good times you had with him. In the meantime take all the time you need to grieve/ It always hurts to loose them but the love they gave us all their lives is worth the pain of loosing them. may be gone physically but he'll always live in your heart and memories.