If Our Pets Could Talk, What Would They Say?

Alpha1

Pack Leader and Lover
Joined
Mar 28, 2012
Location
USA
Loki: Dad just made a turkey and I get the heart and gizzards.

Bigfoot: I think last time I got some too, they were really good.

Loki: You might get some if there's plenty, if not they're all mine.

Bigfoot: Look! Mom's taking them out of the refrigerator, they must've cooled off already.

Loki: 'Bout time!

Bigfoot: She's cutting them up into tiny pieces and has two small plates.

Loki: She's bringing my plate to me first on the counter.

Bigfoot: Here comes mine!

Loki: Mmmmm.

Bigfoot: Mmmmm.

Loki: That was so good, wonder when they'll make another turkey?

Bigfoot: Probably not 'till next year.

Loki: I don't know if I can wait.

Bigfoot: I can, but right now I'll keep this taste in my memory.

Loki: Maybe you'll dream you got some more.

Bigfoot: Good night, nap time.

Loki: I'll join you, g'night!
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
LOL! Love these, folks!

This has taken off at work too. I'll say, "Well, if Pook and Saav were here, they'd say ....."

Supervisor says, "If Bucky were here, he'd say ...." (dog)

And it's gone on and on with other co-workers. One guy said, "If my cat was here, she'd be like, 'OMG look at that awful makeup on that woman!'"

Another lady has a hedgehog named Mieke. She said, "Meike says NO."

Hugs
Saav
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
Pook: *Sigh* Ehhhh ... same old treats.

Saav: Well there's starving cats who would love to have these, Pooks. Wise up.

Pook: Oh. Oh you're right, Saav. I'm sorry. We need to pray for them.

Saav: That we do. Hold my paw, Pooks. Let's pray.

Hugs
Saav
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
Pook: Ooooooooooooo! A cricket got into the garage! Yum!

Saav: Mom! Help!

Me: What, what?

Saav: Never mind. Pooks ate it.
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
Pook: Mom, where have you been?

Me: Are you nuts? Where do you think I've been, dressed like this? *Indicates security officer uniform*

Pook: No, I mean you are gone longer now. Why?

Saav: Yeah, I noticed that too. How come?

Me: *Sigh* Oh, I see. It's called "overtime" when I work more than 40 hours. I get extra money for that, which helps our budget and our savings account. And I can spend a little of that extra money on you girls, too.

Saav: Cool! Can I have a laptop like yours?

Pook: Yeah, I want one too! And how about some Brie and maybe some caviar at night?

Me: I DON'T MAKE THAT MUCH MORE!!!

Saav: Dang.

Pook: Well, it was worth a shot.
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
Saav: Pook, I'm bored. Mom and Dad are at work, we don't have our dog any more, this stinks.

Pook: You mean you miss Lilly. I do too, but we can't bring her back.

Saav: I know. We need another dog. Maybe one like Lilly.

Pook: Well, I did hear Mom and Dad talking about getting another dog. I think it might happen maybe, Saav.

Saav: Did you really? Oh good!

Pook: Hold my paw, Saav, let's pray they find the right one in their own time.

Saav: I gotcha tight on, Pooks!
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
Introducing the Blue Buffalo food for senior cats.

Pook: *Sniffs* What the **** is this?

Saav: *Sniffs* Oh **** no!

Me: Oh stop it. It's good food for senior cats.

Pook: You saying I'm old? Seriously?

Saav: Oh now, that ain't right.

Me: Oh for heaven's sake, just try it! It's one of the ones your vet recommended, geez!!

Pook: Yeah and who recommended where they stick that thermometer? Gaaaahhhh!!

Me: Shut up and just try it!!

Pook: *Takes a bite* Hey, this isn't bad! Yum! *Dives into the food bowl*

Saav: *Tries a bite* Mmmfffpppttt, nomnomnom!

Me: So I guess you two like it?

Pook: Hush, Mom, we're eating. Talk to you later.
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
About flea treatment:

Pook: OMG here comes that dang Comfortis pill! Run, Saav!

Me: Oh hell no. Get back here, you two. You're getting the pill whether you like it or not!

Pook: But we don't have fleas!!

Saav: Yeah, we're fine!

Me: I don't give a flying **** about not having fleas. The landscaper's dog may have had fleas, I don't know. What, because maybe a couple fleas got in here and got all over you? You want to be itching and scratching and bleeding and miserable? You better re-think this. Now come here, NOW.

Pook: Yuck, fleas! Ok Mom.

Saav: Wooo, fleas are nasty. Ok.

(Wrap them in heavy towels and force their mouths open and pop the pill down their throats)

Pook: Gaaaahhhhh I need some water.

Saav: Yuck! Me too!

(Pook and Saav go to the water and drink a bit)

Me: The Comfortis pill is a lot better than the stuff we used to put on your shoulders, remember?

Pook: But Mom, there's no fleas here.

Saav: Yeah, why do we take a pill? We're inside. We don't get fleas.

Me: Maybe other peoples' dogs who come here have fleas, so we need to protect you. Geez, it won't kill either of you to get a pill!

Pook: Oh. I didn't think of that.

Saav: Ok. I got the pill. Can we have treats?

Me: Treats coming right up!
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
A few years ago when y'all were with me when our Isis passed. She was doing well, she washed herself, and curled up to hubby for a nap and forgot to wake up.

Pook: Saav, oh no, something's wrong with Isis.

Saav: Oh let me see. Oh no, Pooks, something's wrong. I don't think she's breathing. Get Dad.

(Hubby had snoozed on the couch next to Isis and woke up from a very short nap and found Isis gone)

Hubby woke to Pook pawing Isis.

No response. He checked her, she has passed in her sleep.

Hubby: I'm sorry, girls, she is gone. She's gone over the bridge now.

Pook: Wrap her up in my nice new blanket. Mom can get me a new one.

Saav: Put her to rest with some of my toys. She liked those.

Isis was laid to rest in Pook's blanket and a couple of Saav's toys with her out in the back yard. Isis always loved Pook and Saav.

I kept Isis's blanket and washed it and keep it as a reminder, rolled up with her sympathy cards in a drawer. Pook had dragged her blanket to Isis when she went to sleep.
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
Pook: Hey do I smell tuna?

Saav: Yep, Mom's making tuna sandwiches for her lunch for work.

Pook: No, no! Let's go get us some tuna. Mom can make other sandwiches!

Saav: Woo, yeah!

(Pook and Saav do the attack thing on the counter)

Me: You get down! You know better than to get on the counter! DOWN, NOW!!

Pook: But we're hungry, Mom.

Saav: Yeah, we're hungry!

Me: Oh no you are not hungry! Your food bowls are full, your treat bowls are full, you aren't fooling me a bit!

Pook: Well, dang, it was worth a try.
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
Pook: (Pawing at laptop) Holy cow, I'm getting some weird emails.

Saav: From who?

Pook: Oh some idiot wanting to sell us his special homemade cat food!

Saav: Dang, Pook, I TOLD you not to go on cat sites complaining about our food!

Pook: Well, fine, whatever, but I was trying to see if anyone would give us stuff like caviar and filet mignon.

Saav: (facepalm) Pook, you seriously need a freaking hobby.
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
Pook: I am so bored.

Saav: How can you be bored? We have laptops to be on and watch movies and other stuff, toys to play with, and the younger cats to traumatize. What's the problem?

Pook: There aren't any mice or rats to chase here. This stinks.

Saav: Good grief, Pooks. Are you nuts? No rodent in their right mind would ever come within 500 yards of this place with seven of us cats in here!

Pook: Well, I can dream can't I? Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Saav: Ugh. Go take a nap and dream your tail off.
 

linda2147

Active member
Joined
Mar 13, 2014
Location
New Hampshire
Phoenix: when is this rain going to stop, I haven't really gone to play in days

Me: You are the hound from hell, no matter the weather I still have to take you for your run

Phoenix: yea, but I hate the rain, when I pick up a stick for you to throw for me my tongue gets dirty

Me: So are you saying you don't want to go if its raining?

Phoenix: no, not saying that at all but you could wipe off the sticks so I don't get my face so dirty

Me; well you can't have it both ways, either you get your face dirty or we stay home, whats it gonna be?

Phoenix: I never said a little rain would stop me, I can't even go in my kennel to lay in the sun, do something mom

Me; I can't change the weather and its going to rain off and on all week

Orri; so whats the big deal, I can still go in my window box, doesn't rain in there

Sandy: yea no rain in the box but kind of chilly out, no sun to enjoy our time out

Nanny; you guys stop complaining, who cares what the weather is outside we are warm and dry in here

Nanny; come on guys, mom just made her bed, lets all go take a nap, and Phoenix move over, you big moose you take up half the bed yourself.
 

linda2147

Active member
Joined
Mar 13, 2014
Location
New Hampshire
Sandy: Orri, Nanny, Phoenix wake up, its time to play

Orri: Sandy its 5 o'clock in the morning, I don't want to play, I want to sleep

Nanny; leave us alone, you brat, go amuse yourself

Sandy: you guys are no fun, come play with me or I'll pounce you.

Nanny: I'm going in my box, you can't pounce me there and I'm going back to sleep

Sandy: I can so pounce you, I'll go in the box and get you

Nanny: no you won't, I'll sit against the door and you can't get in

Orri, you aren't pouncing me either, go back to bed and leave me alone

Sandy: fine you lazy cats go back to bed, I'm going to see if there are any toe mice in mom's bed

Me: Sandy knock it off, I don't like being woken up with a claw in my toe

Sandy: but mom I have to get the toe mice, I'm just protecting you

Me: Sandy there are no toe mice, that's my foot, either lay with me and be good or get down.

Sandy: Then I'm getting down, if no one will play with me I'll find something to amuse myself.

Orri: Sandy its the middle of the night, go back to bed and go to sleep

Sandy: mom I want breakfast, fill my bowl please

Me, anything to keep you quiet, if I fill your bowl will you leave me alone

Sandy: I will for now, maybe when I'm done breakfast someone will be up to play with me. I know, I'll climb the curtain again and sit on the curtain rod, that way I can jump down on Phoenix or Orri

Me: Don't jump down on Phoenix, she'll be mad

Sandy: so what I'm faster than she is, by the time she realize what I did and gets up I"ll be long gone
 
Last edited:

CatMom1994

Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2017
Daisy: I want to play with you.
Luke: Why? I am outside and you are inside.
Daisy:I don't have another cat to play with.
Luke: I don't care. Let me just hang out here.
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
Pook: (On the bed) Hey Saav, Mom changed the bed again! It smells awful!

Saav: (Jumps to sniff) Ick, smells like that thingie she puts in the dryer. Gosh, this is horrible!

Pook: Gaaaahhhh! Why does she use that stuff?

Saav: I don't know, Pooks. Got a hairball you can hork up and make it better?

Pook: Yeah, I can do that. Give me a minute.

Saav: Take your time, Pooks. I got gas.

Pook: Trap that under the covers!!
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
(One day when I was down and unable to work with tummy flu)

Pook: Oh God, Saav. Mom's sick.

Saav: I know. Leave her alone.

Pook: Seems like she's trying to cough up a hairball.

Saav: That is not a hairball but let's stay close but let her be.
 

Saav

Author of The Cats of Stony River
Joined
Apr 20, 2016
Location
Western NC
Original Poster
Pook: Oh oh, Mom's car is in the garage and Daddy's working on it.

Saav (they go out to see) Oh wow! It's in here! This is cool! Let's help Daddy!

Pook: Uhh, Daddy left some unfinished business under the hood, as it's still up. Hmmm.

Saav: (Exploring) Well, check this out, Pooks! (Climbs to roof of car and slides down the windshield) Wooooooooo!!!

Pook: (Follows Saav) Wooohooooo!

Saav: (looking a bit pale) Uh, I horked up a hairball on the windshield on the first run. Think they'll notice?

Pook: Naah, looks like a slug thing like she got a few months ago. She'll clean it off. Hush and let's do this again!
 


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