Need some Feline thoughts help

Richard164

New member
Joined
Oct 23, 2019
We have had cats for over 20 years. Two females most of the time within 2 year old of each other. We had a 1 1/2 year old sealpoint, Abby, when our 17 year old passed away. Shortly there after we added to the family a female 6 week old tabby, Gracie.

We went through the process to introduce all went fine. They became friends. Licked each others head, but slept in different rooms. MY problem is, as all of you love your pets so much.... I would not take my wife on a vacation unless I could either get someone to stay at the house to comfort them, or at least come in twice a day to feed and visit.

On August 20th we lost Abby at 12 years old due to the dreaded kidney disease. Now the 10 year old tabby who never was alone, is alone feline wise. She has become very vocal and sometimes clingy. She wants me to go to HER bedroom and lay on the bed and spoon with me. She is just starting to go into the master bedroom which was Abby's room. But does not stay once we go to bed.

My problem is, I think I am phycological damaged. I do not want to leave the house to leave her alone. I do not want to go on vacation. Do I get her another family member? I feel so bad for her. I pick her up and give her love many times a day.

I cannot tell if she is depressed. She sleeps a lot more. She is eating and bathroom all fine. Wants constant attention when she is up. Please give me some insight as to I can understand or what to do to be able to go on vacation again. If I got her a 6mo old kitten and introduce the slow way.... would she nurture her.

Let me mention, she did have a temper when I brought Abby home from the vet. She could smell the alcohol from the blood draw or other smells and hissed at abby for a day or two and Abby did not know why when she went to clean Gracies head.

Can you please straighten me out. I love her so much and feel so bad for her... .we are all going through a family dynamics change without Abby. She was everywhere in the house and did everything with everyone.
 

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linda2147

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 13, 2014
Location
New Hampshire
if she has never been an only cat she misses not having one of her own kind near her. Get her a kitten. When I had my first bengal he was so bonded to me that he'd pull his hair out if I left him alone, took him to the vet and vet said it was stress and to get him a kitten. I got him a little siamese mix rescue and the hair pulling stopped. When I lost the bengal the siamese was inconsolable she wandered around looking for him, crying and nothing made her happy. My cats never go outside and she tried to get out every time the door opened, I assumed it was to look for him. Then I got another bengal and she was happy again. So I think getting a kitten would work wonders for you, she'd have her own kind to play with and take care of and wouldn't be so dependent on you. By the way welcome to the forum
 

linda2147

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 13, 2014
Location
New Hampshire
When I get a new kitten I do not put them in separate rooms, I use a large wire dog crate, put the kitten and her supplies in the crate and put the crate where they can see each other. I find it goes much quicker if they can see each other and get each other's scent, get the hissing and growling over and done with where the kitten is safe from the other cat trying to hurt it. Bring the kitten out, play with her, the older cat will be compelled to check things out, if all goes well let them interact supervised, At the first sign of trouble put the kitten back in the crate and try again later. It doesn't take long and the older cat will be loving the kitten and bonding with it. But if I'm not at home and at night I keep the kitten in the crate until I'm sure there will be no problems left together. Within a few days they will start to bond and before you know it the kitten can stay out of the crate all the time.
 

CatMom1994

Loving cats forever
Joined
Jul 23, 2017
Location
Florida
My last cat did the same thing when she became an only cat for the first time. She was not a loud cat most of her life but began meowing her little head off. When I said her name she stopped. I would have adopted another cat for her if I could.

An important consideration is how playful Gracie would be with a kitten. Often older cats don't want to play anymore and do not like kittens teling them, "Play with me!" So it could be better to get a 3-year old cat than a 3-month old cat.
 

Richard164

New member
Joined
Oct 23, 2019
Original Poster
Linda2147, thank you for your reply... that's what we are thinking.... just to see another Siamese, it may remind us of Abby and expect the same behavior....I hope I do not take the love away from Gracie for a kitten. I love the crate idea. I remember when I brought Gracie home and she was just over a pound and Abby probably 5 pounds.... they were behind doors smelling each other,,, I finally brought out Gracie and said to Abby, is this what you are afraid of,,, she sniffed her and all was good then on. I think seeing them and keeping separate is the best way. I could also use a bedroom and use a screen door from our sliders to keep separate. She is use to a screen because we have a screened in pool, we live in FL and they see the squirls and rabbits and she is not afraid of them because of the screen. Now I just have to get over my separation anxiety.
 

Richard164

New member
Joined
Oct 23, 2019
Original Poster
Gracie still likes to run after rolled up Publix receipts and small balls.. But your right, hard to say now. When Abby was alive, they did chase each other, but did nothing at the end of the chase... it was just like a run from one side of the house to the other. They both did come out and sit in a lounge chair by the pool
 

CatMom1994

Loving cats forever
Joined
Jul 23, 2017
Location
Florida
What part of Florida are you in? I am in Gainesville.

You don't have to get a Siamese. In fact it is better not to focus on the breed because shelter cats are almost never purebreds.
 

linda2147

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 13, 2014
Location
New Hampshire
the only reason I suggested a kitten is gracie being a full grown cat may not be as reseptive to another adult as she would be to a kitten. if siamese is your breed of choice then don't worry about it as one cat does not replace another, they make a place of their own. I have two bengals and a siamese mix rescue and a german shepherd. All get along well. My cats can not go outside as we have fisher cats here who's favorite food is cat but I do have two catios that hang in the window like a window air conditioner so they can go in and out safely as the catios are all caged in
 

Tia

New member
Joined
Aug 18, 2018
I don't mean to butt in, but new cat + old cat isn't always a good experience. While I never had any bad experiences myself, I had one friend whose longtime cat nearly killed the newcomer. Some cats can be really territorial.
If you want to add a new one to your family, please introduce them slowly AND don't leave the two alone together until you know for certain that they'll get along.
 

linda2147

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 13, 2014
Location
New Hampshire
if the resident cat has always had another cat companion it should be fine, if the cat was alone and never exposed to other cats then that might be a problem.
 


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